The Ripples Of Kindness
I had just been thinking about writing an article on the importance of kindness when the media announced the death of Dolly Parton.
I'd never met her personally, but I was always aware of this beautiful soul energy that seemed to emanate from her. She just exuded kindness and I truly believe that is one of the most important things we can give as human beings.
When I think back to people who have now passed, I remember each of them for their kindness. They probably never realised at the time that, decades later, I would still remember something they had said or done. Yet those little moments stayed with me. Far too many to mention them all here but a few......
There was the greengrocer, Mr Whittle, who managed the Co-op on our estate. He would always stand outside in his white grocer's coat, greeting the customers as they came in. So that mum could walk around quicker without carrying the basket and me, Mr Whittle would either hold my hand or carry me around the store while chatting away to me. Then, at the end, he would give me a chocolate bar or a lollipop. He was such a lovely man.
Then there was Les, the laundry man, who came to collect the laundry every Thursday. He was such a happy, cheeky chappy, and I absolutely loved him. He always made time for me, told me jokes and made me laugh. Whenever he went on holiday, he'd bring me back a stick of rock or some fudge.
As a little girl, I simply thought he was incredibly kind, especially when there were so many other houses he went to. I didn't understand then that he didn't have to make that little bit of extra time for me, he simply chose to.
And then there was my junior school teacher who gave me the kindest punishment ever. I can't remember her name, but I can still picture her: mousy blonde hair tied up in a bun, and I think she was Austrian.
We were waiting outside for the coach to take us somewhere, but I was shuffling about and, as usual, not shutting up when I'd been told to. My friends kept laughing, which obviously encouraged me.
Eventually, she said, "If I have to tell you again, you'll be in big trouble."
So, shortly afterwards, when she said, "That's it," I thought I was in serious trouble.
Instead, she looked at me and said something along the lines of:
"Okay, you think you're so funny. As punishment, you're going to put on the end-of-term show for assembly. It has to be a whole show, costumes, the lot. You're not allowed any adult help, you have to write it yourself, although you can get your friends on board to take part, of course."
I was absolutely buzzing. I thought it was the best punishment ever! So I wrote a comedy sketch show, drafted in my friends to take part, and we all helped put our costumes together. We were allowed to rehearse in the hall during breaks and lunchtimes. And then came the big day. We performed. And we got a standing ovation. Not just from the pupils, but from all the teachers too. We had to keep coming back onto the stage and bowing because they simply wouldn't stop applauding.
For a ten year old kid dreaming of an acting and music career, I can't even begin to explain what their reaction meant to me. Well, obviously it meant a lot, because I've carried that moment with me throughout my life.
Perhaps she knew something about me that I didn't know yet. Perhaps she simply saw a noisy, mischievous little girl who needed somewhere to put all that energy, whatever it was, I've never forgotten it or her.
I have been so blessed to be on the receiving end of kindness throughout my life, and I can only hope that I've given as much, if not more, back.
"Hi. I told my wife I was hoping to catch you. we're leaving today. The landlord is selling the house and we couldn't afford to buy it. I've managed to buy one in town, though, but I just wanted to tell you that you make this area a beautiful place to live in. I told my wife that I see you pass every day, you always acknowledge me and the children and do you remember the day I first moved here? I was driving around trying to find someone to ask about the bins and bin day, you were in your garden and you stopped to chat to me, you helped me out, welcomed me to the neighbourhood and said that if I ever needed anything, I could knock on your door, well, I really appreciated that, and even yesterday, when my girls had been fighting and one of them ran off to the park, you could have just walked by. But you went over to her, got down on her level while she was sitting by the tree crying, and spoke to her gently and she came back home. I said to my wife that I wanted to tell you that you make this area beautiful, and just to thank you. I'm sorry we have to leave."
My first reaction was a nervous laugh. You know that laugh you do when you're absolutely rubbish at taking compliments?
Because, honestly, I don't clock what I'm doing.I'm just being human,I'm just being me and sometimes being human and just being me means I get stressed especially when my M.E is bad and I can be grouchy and snap and say things i don't mean. In those cases i can only hand on heart apologize and hope for forgiveness and try and learn, after all everything is a lesson right?
But I was so touched by his generosity in sharing those words with me, and by the knowledge that I had somehow made him and his family feel welcomed and cared about even though we were still relative strangers.
I took his hand in both of mine, thanked him, and wished him and his family all the very best for their next chapter.
I came home still a little stunned and perhaps that's the thing about kindness, we don't always see it, we don't always know when we've made a difference.
We might hold a door open, smile at someone, listen to a story, offer encouragement, stop to comfort a crying child, welcome a new neighbour, make someone laugh, or simply take a moment to acknowledge another human being. To us, it might feel insignificant, to someone else, it might become a memory they carry for the rest of their life.
Mr Whittle probably never imagined that a little girl he carried around the Co-op would still remember him decades later.
Les probably never knew that his jokes, his laughter and those little pieces of rock and fudge would become treasured memories.
My teacher probably never knew that the "punishment" she gave a cheeky ten year old would help fuel a dream that stayed with her throughout her life. And I certainly didn't realise that a few words about bins, a hello in passing, or stopping beside a tree to comfort a little girl would one day come back to me in the form of a stranger telling me that I'd helped make his home feel like a better place.
That's the beautiful thing about kindness, we rarely get to see where it goes, it travels quietly from one person to another and then perhaps from them to someone else?
A smile can change someone's morning, a few encouraging words can change someone's confidence, a moment of patience can stop an argument, a little compassion can remind someone that they matter.
We may not be able to change the whole world, but we can change the world immediately around us, we can make our little corner of it better.
One day, without ever knowing it, we might become part of someone's story. Years from now, they may not remember exactly what we said, they may not even remember our name, but they may remember how we made them feel?
So, if you can, be kind, not because someone is watching, not because you'll always receive kindness in return and not because every act of kindness will change the world.
Be kind because you never know what someone else is carrying,be kind because the smallest gesture can sometimes mean more than you could ever imagine.
And be kind because perhaps this is how we really do change the world, not all at once, but one human heart at a time.
You may never know the ripple your kindness creates, but give it out anyway, let it travel and perhaps somewhere down the line, it will find its way back to you.
Stay Blessed 🙏 💜 x
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